A furniture-maker, Mr. Shola Adegbayi has been missing for six years without a trace. Adegbayi’s wife, Evelyn, in this exclusive interview with ADEBIYI ADEDAPO and SILVIA OCHOLI, explains how tough life has been for her and her 8-year-old daughter.
The Verge: I realised that it’s your birthday, Happy Birthday to you. How do you feel today?
Evelyn: What else can I say? I feel sad because my birthdays have been so boring, I feel so lonely without my husband and it’s a pain that I couldn’t really bear in the last six years, I have celebrated my birthday alone, without him. It hasn’t been easy.
The Verge: What does he do on your birthday that makes you feel his absence every year?
Evelyn: He used to take me out, buy me gifts and celebrate with me, sometimes in a big way.
Photo: Missing Shola Adegbayi
The Verge: It’s been six year since we last spoke and I’ve gone to look for your attention at your old house, how have you been faring ?
Evelyn: I left the environment because things were very difficult, so I relocated back to my State. I relocated to a town near my village in 2024. After one year, I moved from the House where you met me the last time to another house within Gauraka because I couldn’t afford the rent. Also, I was not comfortable living in the same house I lived with my husband, I always felt his presence around, when I sat on the chair, it felt like he was sitting beside me, so I had to leave the House.
The Verge: Is your husband also from Kogi State?
Evelyn: I am from Isanlu, but he is from Ayetoro-Gbede.
The Verge: Can you recount what you can remember about what happened?
Evelyn: It is not a memory anyone can easily forget. It makes me shed tears every time. For example, just in December, my daughter was asking certain questions and I burst into tears. It happened on the 16th October, 2018, my husband went to work at Galadimawa. Around 7Pm, he called to inform me that he was on his way back that I should go and wait for him at home, because I was still in the shop with my daughter.
When it was 9pm and I didn’t see him, I became very worried. And the man is very responsible, whatever he says is what he does. He doesn’t even have a lot of friends, so when it was 10pm and I didn’t see him, and couldn’t reach him via his mobile phone, I became increasingly worried. My major worry at that time was that when the phone battery is running low, he usually calls to inform me that ,”my dear, my phone will turn off soon, don’t be worried if you can’t reach me for now, I will be back soon.
” But on this day, he didn’t. After he called at 7pm, he didn’t call me again. I even thought my phone was bad, so I went to my neighbor and collected her phone to call him, the same thing happened. I now went back to the express road and started asking people who were returning from Abuja city if there was a holdup on the road and they all said the road was free. I also asked if there was an accident on the road, but there was none. I waited at the express road with my daughter until 12 am before I went back home.
That was when we started looking for him. I went to Galadimawa Police Station, I went to SAR’s office , in fact the police got tired of me, they will say “madam, please go, we are going to call you later.” It was my sister-in-law who was taking me around because she is very familiar with Abuja streets. After 3-days the woman who he went to work for called me and told me that he has been trying to call my husband.
The Verge: Does your husband have any partner or apprentice working with him?
Evelyn: No, he went to do the job alone.
The Verge: How did it go with the Police?
Evelyn: First , they asked us to wait until it’s 24 hours before they can declare him missing. So we went to hospitals and even Prisons to look for him. I also went to different radio stations.
The Verge: How long did you know your husband for ?
Evelyn: We did courtship for about 10 years before getting married. I was in SS2 while he was at the Federal Polytechnic, Offa in Kwara State. We eventually got married in 2016.
Photo: Evelyn and her missing husband.
The Verge: How is life without him?
Evelyn: It’s so tough. The worst moment is when my daughter starts showing an attitude that she wants to see her Dad. She asks so many questions that I can’t give answers to.
The Verge: Does she cry?
Evelyn: She cries a lot, she’s very fond of her Dad. In the early months after he went missing she cried everyday and it was a lot.
When I didn’t know how to explain things to her, I would wear her Dad’s shirt and tell her that, “your daddy asked me to wear this for you, he would soon be back and he said I should assure you that he loves you so much.” And then she will stop crying. I sometimes wear the clothes for her when we’re going to the shop. After she wears her own normal clothes, I will wear it for her and there won’t be questions because she likes it.
Photos: L- 8-year-old daughter wearing her Dad's shirt R- Daddy and her missing dad (Adegbayi)
The Verge: Is your daughter in school?
Evelyn: Yes, she is in school.
The Verge: What are your feelings about his return, do you believe he’s coming back?
Evelyn: Yes, I still have hope and I have faith that he is still alive.
The Verge: So you don’t plan to be with another man?
Evelyn: I really can’t tell, but for now, I am not willing.
The Verge: How long more are you willing to wait for?
Evelyn: Only God makes promises and keeps them; He is the one who speaks, and it never changes. If I wait for some more time and He does not return, I may try to accommodate the thoughts of someone else.
My parents are mounting pressure on me to have more children, saying I am still young and can’t continue to wait until I grow old, before the time passes me by. But, going by what is on my mind, I haven’t opened my mind to entertain thoughts of anyone except my husband. Even his parents are talking to me about it. Before now, they did not advise me to marry someone else, but now they are also feeling pity for me. Only God can help me with this situation.
The Verge: What do you have to say to the police ?
Evelyn: Police! I have nothing to say.
